Why do I feel pain when I don't make art?

-Okay so my mom is an artist. My mom is also a sociopath and we both hate each other. I want to be nothing like her.



But for some reason I am just REALLY good at art. I have no training whatsoever. I walked into a structured art class and the teacher had a certain way she made her students do art. When she saw my technique she criticized me at first, but when she saw my finished work she told me, "If that is the finished result, do whatever the hell you want!"



I loathe art. But my mind is so full of these abstract thoughts. They're painful and strange and it causes me pain. I have to paint them or I start to get mentally sick. Like the ideas haunt me until I put them down on paper and I hate putting them down on paper.



I feel the pain now. It hurts so f*cking bad. I know I'm going to have to start another piece tomorrow if I want to keep myself from going insane. Why am I like this?I myself am an artist and I'm the same way.

I know it seems like bad luck because you have to paint or draw to relieve yourself of stress,

and to keep from going crazy, but on the bright side, trust me a lot of people wish to have that creativity and inspiration that comes from the pain.

The best artists it seem have it.

If you'd like to have another outlet for stress, try finding a new hobby or activity you enjoy doing.

I know I probably am not much help, but I can relate to this so I decided to respond to it.